It's time to recap 2021! I'm taking a break from relaunching my old blogs to reflect on the past year. The last few weeks have been a process of learning, researching, and moving my old blogs from 2015 over to WIX. In conjunction with my blogs, I'm working to create brand new sites and communities to go along with them. I'm most excited about the collector's community I'm building! I'll dive more into that once it's finished though. I have taken some time to update the theme of this site and to improve the pages though.
The last moments of 2021:
I spent New Years Eve (NYE) with my partner and 2 friends at Torsap Thai Kitchen, a thai food restaurant in Walnut Creek, CA. They had a NYE's special- a 7 course meal with (alcoholic) drink pairings. I really enjoyed the evening out! Of course the company was great, but the atmosphere of the restaurant was nice and the food & drinks were good.
I spent the end of the night taking pictures at the beautiful photo area of the restaurant and then hanging out at my place with everyone.
This was actually the first year I didn't turn on the TV to watch the usual programming for NYEs. I didn't watch the ball in Times Square drop or any musical or stunt performances. I'm okay with that though. It was nice to be able to live life on my own time and it's very indicative of the lifestyle I've been pursuing.
If I had to sum up 2021 in 1 word, it would be: Growth.
The year was filled with trials and tests that pushed me to face my old issues, new problems, and ultimately made me grow in a direction I never had a thought of. I'm still dealing with all that came from 2021. Of course, just because the clock strikes 12:00am and we turn the calendar to January-1, it doesn't erase or change everything instantly; I know this.
2021 started out great and I had big plans for myself. At that point, most things were going well in my life and I was getting on schedule with my goals- I had started reading consistently, my Yoga and workout routines were going well, I was progressing within the nonprofit I work for, and I had a pile of letters waiting for my response.
COVID was definitely still around and with it being cold/flu season, it was best for us to celebrate on Zoom and stay inside. At this point, we could not eat inside of restaurants yet. Overall, I had a good birthday and I was glad to have people show up to celebrate me! It was literally an all-day-long chat and it was amazing how long my friend Lily stayed up, because she is in Finland and 9 hours ahead of me. I believe Lily logged off around 4pm in California, which is 1am her time. - Even with COVID amid, my life was looking up and I felt good.
Then, in mid-February, my world came crashing down on me. I was on my way home from work. I actually had an early shift, which left me plenty of time to accomplish tasks when I arrived home. I had plans to start writing again to my pen pals on this day and then I had a terrible public incident. I'm not going to go into details about what happened. I have relived this moment by force many times and continue to try and sort it out mentally today. Perhaps, someday, I will be ready to divulge details, but until then I will just say: I was on my way home and I was physically and verbally attacked.
After that, I had a lot to sort out. All that good and positive progress seemed to go down the drain. I had never dealt with anything like this before and it created a lot of negative feelings in me about strangers, closed spaces, meeting or interacting with new people, and for the first time ever I experienced true social anxiety. All of this was a lot to deal with and it felt like all I was hearing was (basically): Get over it. Move on.
It was above 2 weeks after the incident in the pictures above. I was doing everything I could think to move on with my life and get over the effects from the incident quickly. On the day of those pictures, I got up and dressed nicely and did my make-up. Then I tried everything I had within me to smile and I literally couldn't.
The process for me to heal was a long one. This post is not about the incident though, so I'm not going to fill it with the whole mental process I have and am going through. I will just say, that once I finally took control and stopped allowing others to tell me how to react or how to cope, it helped. It was most helpful for myself to realize that things can never go back to how they were in my mind before the incident and that it is okay for me to put myself first, above others needs and wants. It wasn't until around October that I was finally able to get myself working on a more consistent course and actually feel positive.
In between February and October, life still happened. -That's important to remember: Time never stops. It always moves forward whether you do or not.
I moved in May. We had to clean out a house and moved everything ourselves, just my partner and I. My partner earned a huge promotion that involved a ceremony and we had to work around that during our move, on top of hosting family and friends in a new home that wasn't even ready for guests.
In July, I made one of the best moves possible and I left my job after 4 years. I had so many issues with that company and particularly the set of managers at that facility. The issue that caused me to walk out in the middle of my shift was my character being questioned by my manager. I had been dealing with him and his hostility towards me since he took the position. To my knowledge. there was no trigger for him to have such a disposition against me. - I had called out after getting my 2nd dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. I had literally thrown-up from it. My manager questioned why I had called out and when I told him the truth he made a remark that suggested I was lying. I literally couldn't take it anymore. I definitely didn't appreciate being called a liar after following protocol and an hourly job was not worth it the verbal abuse. So, I walked out. Again, this post isn't about my former job, but I've learned a lot from leaving that company and I do not look back at all.
Not all of 2021 was bad. I felt safe enough to venture out. I went to my first con since 2019! I travelled to Hawaii, which seemed way cleaner and safer about the pandemic than the mainland. I saw the San Francisco Giants play, as well as the Golden State Warriors a few times.
Despite everything that happened to shake my world in 2021, I still feel good about the year as whole. It started on a strong and positive note with people who cared about me and it ended that way. The same people may not be there, but I'm grateful for the new bonds and forged friendships I made last year. In a time of pain and hurt, I decided to heal myself and become stronger. I learned I'm resilient in ways I never thought I would have to be. I learned the value of my time (even more than I thought I had known) and the value of putting myself first when I need to. I finally and truly started to grasp the concept of experience within living above material things and societal pressures. I started to grasp the true meaning and joy of peace within privacy, while also remembering how to live in the moment. I'm learning the true balance of technology and how it can help your life, but also when it is harming me or wasting my time. One of my best accomplishments in my life, not just in 2021, is learning when enough is enough and that buying more things doesn't equally happiness or friendship or fulfillment.
-Thank you, to everyone who was there with me in 2021.
-A special thank you to everyone who helped me through my hard times last year.
-Thank you to the people who impacted my life, even if we only interacted once.
-To those I have lost or who have exited my life: I will not forget you. I wish you all the best no matter what.
-Cheers! To 2022!
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