38 Things I've Learned in 38 Years
I recently saw someone make a post on Instagram. The person had turned 34 and in their carousel of posts they wrote "34 things I've learned". I decided I liked this idea as a personal reference point and to share my wisdom and lessons-learned with others. I instantly decided a blog post was going to my route though, because I would like the opportunity to explore each topic.
My goal is to do this annually as a check-in. While I have learned a lot in my lifetime, I want these birthday posts to reflect more on what I have learned recently or within the last few years, however some lessons transcend time. Some of the wisdom may repeat eventually, but that signifies how important that knowledge has been for me.
(In no particular order, but numbered for reference.)
Time is greater than money. You can always earn more money, but you cannot gain more time.
It isn't the length of time you have, but what you choose to do with it. Some people do more only living 30 years of life than people who live to be over 70.
Invest in the people who invest in you. Pay attention to the people who are there for you in your time of need; who are there to celebrate your big milestones; who put their time into a relationship with you. -Those are the people you should prioritize.
Say less. This is one of those lessons that usually only makes sense with aging and is often overlooked until you are around the age of 40. But more often than not, letting issues go, keeping out of drama, and (most importantly) not having the last word is extremely beneficial.
Some things transcend spoken language. Love. Friendship. Peace. Kindness.
Bucket lists aren't worth it. This is personal, but I have found it beneficial to let go of long lists of hopes. Set an achievable goal instead and when you achieve that goal, reevaluate and set another.
Practice gratitude. This is a topic I will probably write a separate blog post for, because I've just recently fully understood what this means and the importance of practicing this. All, I can say is, do it and keep doing it. It will benefit you more than you know and you won't realize it until much later on in life.
Age is just a number. It really is. People achieve incredible things at all different stages of life.
Just start. Don't wait for the right moment; that's an illusion. If you want to learn something new, start a new hobby, improve a skill, etc. -JUST START NOW.
Finish what you start. It's important on many different levels to finish what you start if possible. Finish the book you're reading. Finish the paper you're writing. Finish raising your children. Finish helping the person you said you would.
Worrying doesn't solve problems. You can stay up all night and you can stress yourself out as much as you want, but it's not going to make the problem go away any faster than if you don't worry. What makes problems go away is doing the work it takes to solve them.
Experiences are greater than material things. Sure, some material things hold memories, but the memories are what really make you smile. And you're more likely to remember what you did and with whom than the material things that were around you at that time.
Make time for yourself. (No one else will.) No one will prioritize you. You have to do that. You deserve that.
The best deeds done are the ones that don't get recognition. Another lesson learned only in time. Some of the best things you will ever hear, witness, or learn about that were done by others will never reach the news, they will never earn someone an award or medal, and they will die with you if you do not carry on the story.
Practice, but not to be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect; only different and in some cases "improved". If you aim to be perfect you'll never achieve it, but if you aim to improve or to be able to do something new, you'll never be disappointed.
Don't give up the things that bring you joy. I definitely didn't realize this until I was an adult, but you should keep doing the things that make you happy, regardless of judgement.
Save money. Some people realize this at a young age. I was not one of them, and while I don't believe money does a thing for you in the afterlife, while you are here on Earth, you should save some. It'll come in handy later.
It's not about control, but about your decisions. You can't control others and you can't control conditions, but you can make decisions that will be best for you within those conditions and regarding others.
All choices have an element of chance. Even if you have as much evidence and research that you can possibly grasp, there is always a chance - even the slightest - that the choice you made doesn't result in the outcome you wanted. Learn to be okay with that.
People will remember those who were there for them in their time of need. This is self-explanatory, but important. You can give someone money and gifts from time to time, but what they'll really remember is who was there in their darkest hour. Also, see #3.
Rarely is any situation "black and white". My mother used to say this to me all of the time when I was growing up. I'm glad it didn't take me too long into adulthood to realize she was right. The older I get the more I realize there are usually several layers to a situation.
Your mood and your emotions are your choice. "You choose how you react to things." -Mom
Be angry alone. If you want to be angry, that's fine. Allow yourself to feel. But do it alone. Don't involve others. Be around others only after you've calmed down.
Time is a prison. If you obsess over time and allow it to control you, you'll only be boxed in. You can't escape the bars that Time puts up around you. Time should only be used as a concept and reference.
Screaming into a void is okay. Growing up, I often heard that it was a waste of time to say or do anything if no one was listening or paying attention. I now know that's not true. If it makes you feel better to get it out there, do it! Even if no one else is around.
Don't wait for an apology or confession to heal; you don't need it. This is definitely a more recent lesson for me in life. Apologies don't heal you. Taking the time and putting in the work to heal is what heals you.
The older you get the more you need to stretch. So many issues can be resolved just by stretching- stress goes away; back pain goes away; you have less injuries; you sleep better; you live longer; you feel more motivated; you don't shrink. The older you get the more you need it and the harder it is to keep up with if you don't do it regularly.
Don't make decisions based on other people. Always do what is best for you, even if it's not the easiest at the time and it means losing or leaving people behind.
2nd chances, redemptions, and improvements are rights of everyone. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance. People can improve and be better. Give them that chance.
A day is special if you make it so. Celebrate when you want to for whatever reason. You're going to remember those days way more than what you did every December 25th.
Self-Love can't be replaced, nor can it cannot be given. No one can make you or give you self-love; you have to have that for yourself and you have to learn how to. There is no other type of love like it.
Be comfortable being alone. There will be times in life when there is no one else around and it's important to be okay with that. It's important mentally to learn how to sit with yourself and your thoughts.
Don't do anything for anyone with expectations of a return. If you do something for someone - anything - with expectations, you're doing it for the wrong reasons and you're likely to be disappointed.
It's okay to be the first, or, the one who always reaches out. I don't know why, but I was always taught and around people who preached that "you shouldn't always be the one reaching out first". I say, who cares?! It's not about who called who first, it's about how they respond to your call.
It only takes a small wave to spark change. Statistically speaking, this has been proven, but it's also true. It always starts with a few before it reaches the many.
Anything can be an addiction if you let it. We're taught drugs are bad and addictive, and they can be. So can shopping, eating, watching TV, exercising....... even though none of those things are drugs.
Don't wait on someone. Life is too short to wait for someone to maybe show up. If you want to do something or go somewhere, do it. You may have to do it alone, but that's okay. See #32.
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